The Impact Of Our Thoughts On Intimate Relationships
All couple experience stress at some point in their relationships. Typically, one partner criticises while the other closes up and doesn’t say how they feel. This can stir many emotions ranging from sadness, anger, disgust, and fear. Many of these emotions arise from automatic thoughts (thoughts that arise on the spur of the moment), which may not be accurate.
However, you cannot control your automatic thoughts, but you can be aware of them. In relationships, it is common to experience automatic thoughts related to the behaviour of the other. But the question is, how accurate are they?
Be Aware of Your Thoughts
To start with, be mindful of your thoughts, automatic or not, and how they relate to your partner. If you are aware of a negative thought, stop and evaluate. Check if that thought has any credibility, whether it’s entirely true, false, or somewhere in between. Sometimes, there may be a plausible explanation for your partner’s behaviour.
Psychologists believe that negative thinking can seriously damage a relationship. While it is customary to worry in a relationship, persistent negative thinking can harm its well-being.
Grow and Change: Open Up the Space for Growth
Many-a-time relationships do not survive absolutes. Every relationship should have room for growth and change. When you are frustrated in relationships, you tend to develop absolutes (rigid or critical beliefs) about your partner. Sometimes, you even imagine absolutes about yourselves.
If you think about your relationship negatively, it is time to open up for growth. The simplest way is to be aware of the terms you use and not deliver absolutes.
Don’t Attempt to Manage Your Partner’s Emotions
The key to a successful relationship is allowing your partner to feel, even the hard stuff. Do not attempt to manage your partner’s emotions. Be willing to say the hard stuff and allow them to feel, however, complicated it is. If they feel mad and hurt, it is how they feel.
Attempting to manage the other person leads to miscommunication, and you may even withhold critical information. They may not stop feeling but will stop sharing it with you.
Celebrate Each Other
Communicating with your partner is easier when you have a stash of positive thoughts about them. This is possible by believing they are worthy of being celebrated and deserve your appreciation and affection.
The more you look for goodness and kindness, the more you see it. The more you see the bad stuff, the more you see that too.
What Does It Mean for Your Relationship?
A good relationship can be affected by any number of things, and negative thinking tops the list.
Keep a check on your automatic thoughts and what you think every day. Let the good thoughts outweigh the bad. The more positive thoughts you have, the happier you feel.
If you require additional support, seek assistance from a qualified therapist. They can help you navigate negative thoughts, build trust, and improve communication.
